I assume that by now everyone has heard of Sarah Palin's brave moose-killing exploits. In the pristine Alaskan wilderness, the hunting of moose and caribou is apparently quite common, helping to feed the local populations of both human and animal inhabitants. I can tell you from experience that moose is a pretty tasty treat: yum yum.
However, it has recently come to my attention that Governor Palin - probably acting under a mandate from above - has decided that wolves are enjoying too much of the killing action, depriving locals from some of their meaty bounty. Hence, the natural and native predators should be 'controlled'. And what better way to control them, but to fly through the air in a plane, shoot them, hack off one of their paws and bring it in for a $150.00 bounty to be paid by the state.
Now, admittedly I was a bit turned off when I first heard this story. After all, haven't predator and prey been living together in equilibrium for eons? Why must mankind - equipped with technological appendage - intervene? But after careful consideration I have decided that perhaps Palin's prescient plan presents a model we all should follow: if something we deem as 'bad' is maliciously taking something we consider 'good', not only should we destroy it, but we should be encouraged to do so (preferably via financial incentive). Well blog readers, here it comes....
...following Palin's model I hereby decree: republicans are taking all our 'good stuff' and must be dealt with accordingly.
Now, I realize that the thought of killing (quasi)innocent (semi)humans and lopping off one of their hands might sound unpleasant at first, but lets think this through. Sure, the initial act may be a bit grizzly, but after the dirty work is done, consider the surplus that can be divvied up! Sure, there will be material goods like cars and houses, but there will also be unnecessary white-collar jobs to be liquidated, foodstuffs to be distributed, extra clothes for those in need, and such scarce resources as limited health care facilities and educational opportunities can be directed towards those who really need them. And though those of us on the left rarely have airplanes by which to carry out this nefarious task, we do have the advantage of stealthy a) bicycles or b) hybrid cars. Those silly conservatives will never hear us coming!
On a pragmatic note, I can't offer such a lucrative bounty as Palin. But on the up side, after the deed is done there should be plenty for all. And consider how peaceful things will be once all those SUVs are off the streets the the McMansion McCropolis's have been converted back to wilderness preserves.
So fellow Comrades, Let the hunt begin!
you can read about Palin and wolf-genocide here:
http://www.salon.com/env/feature/2008/09/08/sarah_palin_wolves/
